Most of us want to be empathetic. When someone shares a struggle, whether it’s a difficult teenager, a stressful job, or personal loss, we often respond with the first thing that comes to mind: “I’ve been there too.”
It feels natural. After all, we’re trying to connect. But in reality, this well-meaning response shifts attention away from the other person’s story and toward our own. Instead of feeling supported, they may feel unseen.
Real empathy requires more. It requires us to resist the urge to fix, advise, or compare, and instead focus deeply on the person in front of us.
Here are four ways to practice authentic empathy:
- Be fully present. Put away distractions and check your body language. Openness, warmth, and calmness signal safety. Sometimes how we show up physically speaks louder than our words.
- Reflect their words. If they describe something as “horrible,” repeat it back in a way that invites them to go deeper. This validates their feelings and shows you’re paying attention to the details.
- Allow silence. Many of us are uncomfortable with pauses, but silence can be powerful. It slows the pace, lowers stress, and creates space for reflection.
- Stay curious. The simple phrase “Tell me more” lets the speaker guide the conversation. It gives them permission to share what really matters to them, often revealing insights they didn’t know they had.
Why is this so important? Because empathy builds trust. It’s the foundation of meaningful relationships, whether at home, at work, or in our communities. It shifts conversations from surface-level exchanges to moments of genuine connection.
In a world where so many interactions are rushed, distracted, or transactional, practicing empathy is an act of care. It tells someone: You matter. Your story matters. I’m here with you.
And that is something worth practicing every day.
Compass Communications LLC 
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